I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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