Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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