am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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