I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
