we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
