is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
