She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have already put on my inside pants.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
