Dual....:-)
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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