I wannas sexs uuuuu
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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