I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize