Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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