i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
