i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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