The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
