You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize