Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
