I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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