I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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