The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
