So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Randomize
