Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
