Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
