yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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