so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize