so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
