I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
