Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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