I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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