Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
