I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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