All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize