So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
