But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
