Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
well you can't waste a boner
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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