i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
