Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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