All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
