Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
