May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize