Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
