Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
