I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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