ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
