What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
