Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
