Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
