I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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