i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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