They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
