3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize