oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
