sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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