My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
