he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
