im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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