I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
