I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's just like the Real World with babies
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
