her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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