well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
