Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
