I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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