Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
