So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize