I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
