if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
