What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Are we still banned from the library?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
