Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
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