that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
