At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
