Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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