i love accidental penises.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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