just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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