We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
