obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
