I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
