I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
