I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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