so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
