Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
