If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
