I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
