But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
