He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it's like heaven, but drunker
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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