it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
