Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
